300 Dollar Shoes

Nike is releasing a new shoe model called the LeBron X, which contain electronics to measure running and jumping.  Controversy arising because they are expected to cost over $300.

Although some journalists and members of the media find this appalling, I am not shocked or offended in the slightest.  Businesses can set prices however they choose, and you are not required to buy anything.

Some claim that the high value of the sneakers will cause more theft and violence within urban communities.  In addition, they add that the shoes cost too much for most families to afford in a recession, and that Nike is to blame.  In today’s world, people enjoy quickly assigning judgment – especially to corporations.  The simple truth is that in a free market, consumers can spend their money however they choose, even on ridiculous items like Justin Bieber bobble-heads or season two of The Jersey Shore.  Any actions as a result of these shoes are not the responsibility of the creators, but rather the consumers.

Despite all the controversy and whiny debate, they are still extremely ugly.

Conquistadors

I love conquistadors.  For me they are on the same level as astronauts, war heros, and olympians.

Many history teachers and textbooks, especially the ones who think they are particularly worldly, like to bash conquistadores, fitting them in the same category as slave drivers, mass-mudurers, and polluters.  To feel good on the inside, they like to take the side of the natives, elaborating on all the injustices they faced at the hands of the cruel conquistadors.

The main flaw with viewpoint is that it characterizes the native peoples as helpless, innocent, peacepipe-smoking, nature-loving hippies.  Just think of the movie Avatar, but less blue.

Conquistadors are the pinnacle of adventurers, sailing across uncharted waters for weeks on end, slashing their way through unmarked jungles, wielding swords, capes, and fancy hats.  They introduced the modern world to isolated peoples, exposing them to advanced technologies and cultures.

Despite the bad reputation they receive, conquistadores were some of the most fearless men, and their role of exploring the New World was undeniably crucial to the development of the Americas.

Premium Rush Movie Review

At 91 minutes, Premium Rush wastes no time establishing silly background stories or useless filler scenes, flying (literally) into the chaotic action of a bike delivery boy in New York City.

The balance of the movie is excellent, containing a sufficient amount of action scenes while also developing the story at the same time.  I would compare it to two evenly-weighted kids on a see-saw in a park, who, with little effort, can easily push each other up and down.  In some movies, the fat kid of unnecessary explosions and visual effects sits on one side, messing up the rhythm and possibly even breaking the see-saw.  Alternatively, the emo girl of over dramatization may arrive, unwilling to play with her other friend, instead choosing to cry and hope the kids around feel bad for her.

The characters are introduced as swiftly and accurately as their bike maneuverings through the crowded city streets.  Every character has an established role, and less time is allotted for deep analysis of character relations, focusing on their key traits instead.

As far as true criticisms, there were a few moments that seemed particularly cheesy.  They used a mock smartphone UI to show the main character’s routes and destinations, which felt like I was being shown how to read a map for the first time.  A few cliché scenes such as the main character hiding in a bathroom stall form the antagonist, or trying to escape through slowly closing doors, barely squeaking through at the last second added some predictability to the plot, but made it significantly easier to follow.

Overall, the movie is great – it is cohesive and logical, and wraps up in a neat little package.

The Moon

As you may know, Neil Armstrong died recently at the age of 82.  It is fascinating to think how long ago the first moon landing actually was, before the days of iPhones and the internet.

Fun fact time: Did you know that when Neil Armstrong & Co. returned from the moon, they were quarantined for 18 days to make sure they hadn’t contracted any lunar diseases?  Although it sounds like something straight from a poorly thought out science fiction story, it’s surprisingly true.  Instead of being judgmental and laughing at this seemingly ridiculous action, it is interesting to travel into their mindset, where a disease from the moon is a legitimate concern.

Tonight I stared at the moon for a while, observing its brightness, relatively small size, and stationary position in the sky.  On that distant world, an tiny American flag stands as a symbol of great human achievement.  No matter who you are, where in the world you live, or what language you speak, when you stare up at the moon, there is always someone, somewhere, doing the same.

A Serious Question

If you trained for many months in order to increase your hiking abilities so that you could take a series of photographs of yourself holding a large chunk of meat in your new fruit-themed headband at the top of a mountain in a certain South American country to promote a malicious political cause…

…then would you have the stamina to put a ham in a piece of Panama banana bandana panorama propaganda?

Emoticons 101

The term emoticon (emotion + icon) refers to the little smiley faces people put at the end of sentences.  They can be used to portray a variety of emotions, so people can discern the true meaning of what you say.  With emoticons, you can easily communicate a tone, otherwise inaccessible through normal text.

For example, take these two sentences into consideration:

I love your new shoes; I am so jealous :)

I love your new shoes; I am so jealous >:(

As you can see, in the first sentence, the comment is happy and sincere, while in the second sentence, the writer appears to have formed a grudge about his/her friend’s trendy footwear.

There are many different emoticons people use, but I only consider a small portion of them to be legitimate.  My basic rule is that if the facial expression or body language of the emoticon is quickly and easily identifiable, then it is fine.

Examples of legitimate emoticons are:
:)       :(       >:(       :P       :D       D:       :O       o.O       :/       >:D

I hesitate to list a lot of bad ones so they don’t catch on, but for the sake of consistency, here are a few:
:S       =)       8)       XD       :[

Also, if you form emoticons by adding a”-” for a nose, you need to seriously reconsider your life.

For the most part, emoticons are helpful for informal communication, but overused and often irritating.

Finally, if you consider yourself at all to be a professional, never use emoticons, it makes you look like a 15 year old girl, not a reputable person.

Muffins : Delicious :: Analogies : Impossible

Analogies are extremely useful in writing, conversation, and communication, but are nearly impossible in question format.  If you have ever tried to solve some analogy puzzles, you will soon come to know their infuriating nature.

Let’s try one for “fun”:

BIRD : NEST ::
(A) dog : doghouse
(B) squirrel : tree
(C) beaver : dam
(D) cat : litter box
(E) book : library

Well, of course the answer is C.  Although you may have found a correct logic statement such as “A dog lives in a doghouse like a bird lives in a nest,” this is not the correct answer because the people who write these questions are evil it is not specific enough.  A beaver also lives in a dam, so that cannot work.  The correct relation that you are supposed to magically conjure is that a bird builds a nest like a beaver builds a dam.  The truly unfortunate thing is that was an easy one.  Let’s try another, shall we?

RADIANCE : GLIMMER ::
(A) glow : shine
(B) sparkle : glitter
(C) dark : light
(D) heat waves : shimmer
(E) midday : dawn

What?  The only thing I can deduct from this one is that it’s probably A or B.  Seriously, who needs to know this kind of garbage?  (For those curious, the correct answer is A)

On a separate note, be extremely careful when people make analogical comparisons in conversation or writing.  When the analogy is stated, it can easily be and often is confused for an accusation.  For example, if I were to say that Obama is to policy like a monkey is to a dartboard, I’m not calling Obama a monkey; rather, I am stating that the relation between him and his policies is the same as a monkey throwing darts at a dartboard.  Whether accurate or not, this analogy compares relationships, not each individual part of the statement.  

Fat, Salt, & Sugar

Today I was looking for a snack, and was faced by the decision between cookies and carrots.  Maybe “decision” is too big of a word.  More like a brief moment of consideration.

While consuming the cookies, I thought about why they taste better than carrots.  And, if carrots are obviously the more healthy choice, why do they taste worse?  Why can’t vegetables taste like cookies?

[sidenote: genetically alter spinach to taste like chocolate and you will be very very rich]

It turns out that our bodies need fat, salt, and sugar in small quantities for a healthy diet.  These nutrients are very rare in nature, and therefore highly desired by people.

So the moral of the story is that next time you go to McDonald’s, and there is the option to have apple slices instead of french fries, think about how much better your life is than your prehistoric relatives’ while consuming the salt-covered deep-fried goodness.

New Colors

When trying to select the background color for a design project I was working on, I looked at the color-selector-thinga-ma-jig but was unable to select a color that truly fit my project.

The Color-Selector-Thinga-Ma-Jig

I thought, what if there are colors that I haven’t seen before?  Colors that don’t exist in our world.  Is it possible to imagine a new color that has no similarities to any previously known colors?

This may seem ridiculous, but if you think about the electromagnetic spectrum as a whole, only a small portion is known as ‘visible light’.  If we could adjust our eyes in the future to expand our range of vision, what colors would appear?

I have developed an experiment to test to see if this is possible, but it is borderline unethical and inhumane.  What if I were to trap a child in a room from birth without any exposure to the color green? When he or she becomes an appropriate age, would they be able to imagine that the color green exists? When yellow and blue pigments are mixed, they create a color vastly different from the originals, so there is no possibility that they could imagine its existence.  If they were brought into the real world for the first time and exposed to the green grass, trees, etc., would they be excited, amazed, or scared?

Whether other colors exist or not, the most important thing is to be appreciate the colors we have, and be glad we were born after 1855, when color was invented.

Highlighters

If office supplies were a family, the highlighter would be the alcoholic uncle.

Extremely loud, only situationally beneficial, and seen way more frequently than would be optimal, the highlighter is a very potent tool.  It is easy to get carried away with a highlighter, making note of unnecessary things.

Take, for example, this paragraph of text I found.  I have highlighted it in a normal manner, ensuring I will easily be able to remember the contents when I look back on it later.

By only reading the highlighted portions, you can see the point the author was trying to make quickly, without having to read it all over again.  For the purpose of visual demonstration, here is an incorrectly highlighted passage:

Not only is it impossible to read, it looks as if a middle school girl got her hands on your paper and thought it was a submission for a coloring contest.