Halloween Candy

Costumes, parties, decorations, who cares?  The most important part about Halloween is the candy.  Or at least that’s what my 7-year-old self would say.  Back when I was a kid, after going Trick-Or-Treating, I would organize all of the candy from the night’s haul into a drawer.  Everything was neatly organized, and I would consume the goodies slowly until about Christmas time.  Although I don’t really eat much candy anymore, some of my Halloween-candy-eating habits still come out.  I found some old pictures I took of my proud collection, hope you enjoy them despite the terrible quality.

Treadmill of the Future

Yesterday I heard someone complain about treadmills.  She said they were “boring” and more importantly “you can’t watch TV because they are too loud.”  I completely agree.  That is why I have improved upon the familiar design and created a treadmill void of these problems.

This is the treadmill of the future.  A curved LCD screen in front and on the sides provides a panoramic view of natural scenery, or allows you to simply watch a TV show directly in front of you.  All settings for the speed of the treadmill are located on a touchpad, seamlessly embedded on the front LCD panel.  The treadmill would come with surround sound to negative the loud noise of the treadmill itself, and for additional audio wave protection, all the machinery is protected in sound-proof casing.  The treadmill software comes with pre-installed movies, providing the visual appearance of running through famous areas in real time.  Imagine running through Central Park on a cool autumn day, or along the beaches of California early in the morning.

In a perfect world, the screen would wrap 360 degrees around the treadmill, but for safety concerns, the back side needs to be open.  Also, I would have put screens both above the runner and below them (by making the track itself clear), but it would restrict the airflow around the treadmill and make it very warm and uncomfortable for the person inside.

It’s essentially the exact opposite of those chair-mobiles from Wall-E.  Except if I built one of those and a futuristic treadmill in real life, I think we all know which one would sell more.

Over-exaggeration!!!

Everyone I have ever met has always over-exaggerated something in their conversations.  When trying to explain things to people, it is easiest to use powerful words to express the magnitude of somethings importance or significance.  For example, a teenage girl might describe a Justin Bieber concert as “the best thing ever” or “the greatest moment of my life.”  While it is obviously not the greatest moment of their life (although for some they may honestly believe it was), their over emphasis helps them communicate how memorable the experience was.

The problem with over-exaggeration arises because the proportionality of importance gets messed up.  If I say the summer day was super hot and outside it is roasting, how do I describe the temperature of the surface of the sun?  When things are over-exaggerated, they occupy a larger band on the scale of language intensity, distorting the entire range and making powerful words useless.

Kobe!

“Kobe!” I yell as I make my final shot,
hoping I will make it in the basket that I sought.
It sails across the room, flying in a perfect arc,
then it drops a little early, right below my mark.
It bounces off the rim, landing on the ground,
making sure no one saw me, I quickly look around.
Everyone continued normally with their day,
as I got up and threw my paper ball away.
I sat back down in my comfy office chair,
with a slightly nagging feeling of disappointment and despair.
If only I were Kobe I would have made that shot,
if only I were better I’d be in a different spot.
If I could be like Bob, with his great personality,
or like Sarah with her unique originality.
If I could be like him or her,
I could be anything, whatever!
I would combine the best traits, the best qualities,
into a self with a variety of expertise!
Then I stopped and thought for a moment, very briefly,
what if someone had these thoughts about me?

Sometimes we try to be someone different, someone new,
but maybe there’s someone who wishes they could be like you.

"What’s Up?"

The phrase “what’s up?” is so commonplace that people don’t actually understand the context in which it should be used.  I have two responses to this question, which vary based on the situation.

Case 1:  I approach someone.

“What’s up?” is appropriate here because they are curious as to the situation at hand.  There is a circumstance out of the ordinary that needs to be explained.  My response is to explain my situation, and is a nice lead-in to the rest of the conversation.

Case 2:  Someone approaches me.

“What’s up?”  What’s up?  What are they even asking?  I haven’t prompted them in any way, so I usually take this to mean “How are you?”  People seem surprised when I respond with “alright” or “fine” to this question.  Hopefully they are shocked that they didn’t know what they meant to ask, and are grateful for my timely interpretation.

Violins and Health

In Italy and throughout Europe there remain some of the legendary Stradivarius violins.  Extremely expensive and rare, these violins are preserved very carefully by experts.  It came as a surprise to me that even though they are on display most of the time, they get played regularly.  It turns out that playing the violins on a frequent basis helps to keep them in a better condition.  This is very counter-intuitive, since valuables are usually kept securely behind glass, without any movement or outside contact.

This same property holds true for our own bodies.  Theoretically the best way to extend our life expectancy would be to do nothing, minimizing the amount of energy we need to exert.  In fact, the opposite is true, with those who exercise frequently and eat healthily living the longest.

In the same way that violins need to be played, people need to go places and complete goals.  The difference is that there are multiple Stradivarius violins, but you only have one body.

2012 Presidential Debate #3

In the final debate of the election, the candidates discussed foreign policy and the role of America in the world.  Although extremely vital and Syria-s, it’s not particularly interesting.  That’s why I’d prefer to discuss something new I learned today.

Did you know that there are ships that planes can land on?  Apparently they are called “aircraft carriers.”  They have a large, flat top that acts as a runway capable of sending and receiving planes.  Once I made this intriguing discovery, I spent considerable time reading over the Wikipedia article, learning as much about these amazing machines as I could.  Using a strong wire or cable, they are able to slow down fast moving jets so they can stop within a very short amount of distance.

I am so glad that I was able to learn about something that I never knew existed.

I see a saw-lution

A while ago I referred to the problem of fat kids and see-saws.  Calling out problems you see in the world is easy, but coming up with solutions is difficult.  I have designed a new see-saw that makes them accessible to all children, despite their weight.

In a simple sense, a see-saw is simply a lever with a pivot in the middle.  The balance of the see-saw is determined not only by the weight of the objects resting on it, but also by their relative positions from the pivot.  Therefore, my new design offers additional flexibility by having multiple seats in varying positions along the see-saw, countering any difference in weight that might occur.

But, why stop there?  For even more flexibly, I could create a see-saw with an adjustable seat.  The seat could be slid into the correct position, then locked into place for a finely tuned balance.

One of the most important parts of designing a revolutionary new product is finding flaws before they become an issue.  Who wants to spend time adjusting a seat to play on a see-saw for only a few minutes?  That is why the final design would include an automatic weight adjustment system, eliminating the need for differing seat placements.  When the see-saw is turned on, the system would calculate the weights on both sides, then pump water appropriately into the two sides in order to create a balance automatically.  Plus, it would be environmentally friendly since the motion of the kids playing on the see-saw could be harvested and stored to power the pump.

In the future, playgrounds will have automatically adjusting see-saws for the maximum see-saw experience.  You heard it here first.  But wait, kids don’t play on playgrounds anymore.

A Chicken Design Flaw

Today I decided to eat chicken, and I very much regret that decision.  It was KFC-bucket style chicken, with a variety of fried chicken parts.  I grabbed a large piece, and proceeded to saw away at it with my knife, surgically separating the bones from the meat.  After a few minutes of slicing, I had the good chicken in one pile, and the bones, fat, and outer fried layer in a second pile.  I looked at the two piles, and noticed that the pile of good chicken meat was far smaller than the other pile.  Eating the chicken, I felt dismayed that the amount of work I put into the preparation resulted in a such an inefficient end.

This is obviously a design flaw in the chicken itself.  Why are chickens made up of all this other garbage, and not just delicious meat?  I found a diagram of a chicken, and was appalled at what I saw.  I have taken the liberty to make improvements to the biological structure of the chicken:

2012 Presidential Debate #2

The idea of a “town hall” format would make it seem like the audience would be asking the most questions, but it seemed like the moderator tried to redirect the flow too much.  In addition, all of the participants were pre-assigned in order to cover a variety of topics.  Because of this, the whole debate felt sort of like a facade of a town hall debate, undermined by the predestined structure.

As for the candidates themselves, both responded well to the questions they received.  Like I said in my post about the first debate, it seemed like there was too much repeating of old points.  I understand that they want to get their point across, but they kept fighting back and forth with the same statistics that I have heard many times.

My favorite moment of the debate was when Obama discussed government-provided contraception.  He said that he wouldn’t want any woman to be denied contraception, and then made a reference to his own daughters.  It was a really funny and awkward moment and I don’t think many people caught it.