Rules to Understanding

When trying to learn something new, the general trend is to follow rules first before you truly understand.  It is easier to teach this way as well, since it is easy to follow predefined guidelines.  I am going to go through two examples of this concept, and hopefully give you a new perspective on learning something new.

Sports: In sports that require lots of time to master, especially individual sports, this concept is noticeable.  Take tennis, for example.  There are defined lines, serving procedures, and scoring, but understanding advanced strategies is not so straightforward.  In order to explain complicated concepts to others, many little tips and tricks are developed, many of which come with conditional clauses.  They are merely a representation of in-depth tactics that even the best players can’t fully explain.

Language: If you remember back to your early days of school, you probably had a phonics class, even if it wasn’t named that.  Understanding the basic mechanics of the English language is important, but not everything can fall into defined rules.  Some would call this a problem, but it’s no different from learning anything else complicated.  I remember my seventh grade teacher telling me to not use “because” at the start of a sentence.  Because she assumed I couldn’t formulate complete sentences, she advised me with a general rule.  (The rule to not start a sentence with “because” stems from the common problem of kids writing sentence fragments.)  This rule changes once you are able to write half-decently.  Anything grammatically incorrect can be done for emphasis.  At least that’s what I say whenever I make a grammatical error.

Self-Vacuuming Carpet

I was trying to think of ways to improve the traditional vacuum cleaner when I had a realization.  The problem isn’t the vacuum – it’s the carpet.  Instead of making a better vacuum, why not make a carpet that vacuums itself?

The carpet is attached to a conveyer belt, which covers the entire floor area of the room.  When the carpeting needs cleaning, a button activates the conveyer and turns on the vacuum, cleaning the carpet as it passes underneath.  In order to prevent the problem of furniture moving during this process, all chairs and tables will be outfitted with motors and wheels, causing them to travel at the same speed as the carpet.

I would name it the “magic carpet” and use all sorts of terrible Aladdin references in the advertising campaign.  “It’s like a whole new world!”

Jelly Belly Guide

I recently got a request to post about the “tastiness vs color of Jelly Bellies.”  As a general rule, if the candy has speckles in it, it tastes terrible.  Also if the color is bright and vidid, it is usually good.  If the color is dark or foggy, it is usually bad.

Of the 50 Original Jelly Belly flavors, very few are actually worth eating.  (Quick side note: The 7-up and orange soda ones are my favorites)  I have taken the official Jelly Belly guide and noted which ones are worth avoiding.  Feel free to print out a copy for your own future reference.

Popcorn Dispenser

Imagine you’re sitting in a dark movie theater, enjoying the current film.  You reach down only to find that you have consumed all of your popcorn (or the person you are sharing it with ate it all).  Your options include: 1) Deciding that you are content with the amount of popcorn you just consumed or 2) Getting up and going all the way to the concession stand to get more popcorn, potentially missing large portions of the movie.

No longer will this dilemma strike fear into the hearts of the movie-going population.  I present the popcorn dispenser.  Meant to be installed in the entranceway or just outside of the theater, the popcorn dispenser allows for quick and easy popcorn refills.  It’s like paying at the pump, expect with salty snacks.  After selecting the type of popcorn you want (butter/no butter, salt/less salt, chocolate-covered?), you pull the lever to fill your popcorn bucket to your desire.  It is quick, easy, and relieves the stress of trying to estimate how much popcorn you want before the movie begins.

Metaphorical Moments

Sometimes I experience normal events, but am struck by them for some reason, and think of them on a metaphorical level.  Today I was exiting a building where there were two separate doors.  One was slightly more out of the way than the other, but both led to the same place outside.  I went to the closer door, but was unable to open it like I normally do.  I pushed again, and since the door didn’t budge, I went around to the other door.  As I was walking to the other door, I saw a small kid of about eight or nine walking towards the closer door.  I thought about telling him that the door was closed, but he was moving quickly and din’t look up, so I didn’t.  Upon exiting the other door, I saw him outside, the first door closing slowly behind him.

This was just a normal event, but I stopped and thought about the situation for a few seconds – not about what mechanics of the door could have failed, but rather how this scenario could apply to larger life actions.  I’ll let you think about it on your own.

Another situation like this happened a few weeks ago.  I was talking to someone I just met, and quickly introduced two of my friends without saying their names, along the lines of “these are two of my friends.”  The two of them were pretty far away, so imagine the introduction was like someone giving a tour to someone new.  I then made an off-handed (positive) comment about a quality of one of my friends, “George.”  The person I just met asked, “Which one’s George?”  I looked at both of them, one of whom was Asian and the other African-American.  For some reason this struck me as odd.  Of course I knew which one was George, but there was no distinguishing feature of the name to determine who it was.  I replied with “That’s a good question,” like some monk sitting at the top of the mountain who answers all questions with questions.

Metaphorical moments that are more concise than these elaborate plots happen every once in a while, and I write them down.  I have a list going, and I have a cool idea of what to do with all of them when I get enough.

Full-Circle Jokes

Some jokes work on the premise of making connections people haven’t thought of before.  The classic: Why did the chicken cross the road?  We start to think of a purpose, not the obvious answer of getting to the other side.

Sometimes jokes are made that point out a connection between things that are meant to have a connection, but have been forgotten about.  Therefore the joke is redundant, and in a way, comes full circle.  Let me give an example.

Why did the man purchase a TV from one electronics store over the other?  Because it was the Best Buy.

Yeah, that’s why the store was named that.  No new connection is pointed out, but people with short attention spans will find it hilarious.  By definition, full-circle jokes are terrible.

I just thought of another one: What did they call the 9-month-old girl’s first upright movements?  Baby steps.

If you laughed at that, I am disappointed.  Of course that’s what they are called, that’s the comparison the phrase “baby steps” refers to!  These jokes are amazingly easy to write, require no skill, and make my eyes roll so much my head rolls with it, increasing the effective distance of eye-rolling, and therefore, the total displeasure with the recently transpired events.

Name Brand T-Shirts

I’m not talking about T-shirts from a certain manufacturer, but rather T-shirts that sport a large logo on the front and nothing else.  Why would you ever wear a shirt that says “Coke” on the front unless you were sponsored?  Wow, you are so unique by liking the most popular softdrink in the world.

If you watch someone wearing one of these shirts running very quickly, you might mistake them for a NASCAR car.

Music Conversations

Sometimes I think about the lyrics to completely unconnected songs and how they fit together.  In some cases its almost as if the artists are talking or arguing with each other.  I have edited a video with this concept, which hopefully makes you think of a connection you haven’t before.

Google Glass

Google released a video demonstrating the function of their new wearable computing technology.  To me, it looks like a pair of glasses with an Apple mouse attached to the side and a little screen in front of one eye.  I don’t see much purpose if you have to have one hand always by the glasses to make it work.

I don’t want to be that guy that points out flaws in rising technologies, but people seem to be so enthralled with the idea of Google glass that they miss out on some major issues.

Battery life.  In most smartphones, the battery is the largest component.  With more and more power required to be connected to the internet, stream videos, and take pictures, battery life is remaining a priority in smartphone manufacturing.  Google glass simply doesn’t have much space to work with.  The goal of keeping the glasses lightweight, comfortable, and stylish directly opposes the need for a long battery life.

What about the people who already wear glasses?  Could you feasibly make prescription Google glasses?  What if it’s sunny while I’m driving, I need to wear sunglasses, but Google glass is my GPS and I need it to reach my destination?  It sounds like a whiny first world problem, but trust me – someone is going to be stuck in this position at some point.

And finally, with the voice-activated commands they have demonstrated in the past, what is there to stop people’s commands from interfering with each other?  If I’m standing by some scenic outlook in a popular tourist area with my Google glass, and the man next to me says, “Google glass, take a picture,” will my Google glass take a picture as well?  What if I happen to be looking at some random person when he says “Send picture to mom,” and it sends that picture to my mother as well?  How would my mother react?  Even worse, you could intentionally mess with people who have Google glass.  Find a crowded area with lots of people using them, and yell out “Google glass, play Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up!”  Instant rick-roll of hundreds of people.  Google seriously needs to reconsider their moral obligations to the public when they may be the cause of so many rick-rolls.

Not An "S"

Most English letters, especially the capital ones, are about the same size and shape, as seen when I created my box alphabet.  What really bothers me is when a capital “S” is stretched out lengthwise in a font or logo.  It’s just not an “S”, and it looks really dumb.